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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28554096">My Canary</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilmizmccree/pseuds/lilmizmccree'>lilmizmccree</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Boys (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Caretaking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Men Crying, Nightmares, Other, Protectiveness, comfort after nightmare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:08:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28554096</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilmizmccree/pseuds/lilmizmccree</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hughie's been greatly impacted by everything he's been through with The Boys. He's seen things he's never hoped to see. He's being pursued... And this wasn't supposed to be his life. He can't even catch a break when he's trying to get some sleep.<br/>He finds himself needing the comfort of Billy Butcher waking up from a particularly scary nightmare.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Billy Butcher &amp; Hughie Campbell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Canary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Going out alone at night is too much.<br/>
Maybe I don’t have much of a right to say that. I’ve done so much stuff at this point that goes way past the line of “too much.” That <em>going out</em> alone should seem a bit mundane.<br/>
Especially since I’m just going out to get some Tylenol. Booze. I’m fine.<br/>
I can step out for a minute or two and be fine, really. No one’s gonna be looking for me, because we’re not doing everything. Everyone else... They’re gonna be right here. Nothing illegal. So... The supes have no reason to come looking for me...<br/>
But... I just feel scared for some reason. It doesn’t matter to the supes that I’m not doing anything illegal. Following the law or not, they want me dead. And if I’m alone... I won’t have anyone to protect me... Mostly because I can’t protect myself.<br/>
I’ll choke... I won’t be able to do it.</p><p>	But I still go out on my own tonight. I don’t know why, I... I guess I just want to prove something to myself. That I can go out and not be a pussy. That I could defend myself, if I needed to. Maybe even to prove that <em>nothing’s even gonna happen.</em><br/>
Everything’s gonna be fine.<br/>
Mother's Milk makes sure I’m armed before I leave. He gives me a pistol... Reminds me that I <em>do</em> know how to use it, if I need to. Nothing is going to happen to me... And I can handle it<br/>
So I go out. Just to the convenience store... No more than a few blocks away from the shelter. There are people out, so... If Homelander or Stormfront are on my tail, they can’t do anything to me.<br/>
Even still, I hate the thought of being followed. Of being <em>watched.</em> I’m looking over my shoulder every thirty seconds... Just to make sure. Just making sure that no one’s following me. My breathing is heavy, and my lungs feel like lead as my heart hammers inside of my chest. I feel dizzy... I can’t feel my hands.<br/>
But... Despite the panic attack... I make it. I do. I make it to the store completely safe. No one attacks me. I don’t even think there was a trace of anyone, either.<br/>
Jeez... I really was overreacting. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared about going to the store by myself.<br/>
Once I know I’m okay... The panic attack comes to a stop. I feel much calmer. Just as I made it here in one piece, I’ll make it back.<br/>
Taking some deep breaths to calm myself down, I look for everything I need. Tylenol... I pick up a few of those; we’re gonna need a lot of it. I can’t believe Butcher let the supply get as low as he did. Vodka... Eh, what the heck? I’ll splurge and get the really nice kind. We could all use it, I think. Tequila; Komiko found that she really likes that. Red wine.<br/>
And... Yeah. I think that’ll do it. We have mixers in the shelter. We just didn’t have any booze to go with it.<br/>
I check out. Try to smile when the cashier gives me a really funny look. Get my paper bag with everything in it, and head out.<br/>
Everything’s gonna be fine.<br/>
Though, as I step out onto the street, I find that the traffic of people that was previously out here is... Well... <em>Gone.</em><br/>
It’s like all at the same time, everyone decided to go home. It’s very, very quiet now. Just me. I nearly hear my footsteps echo as I head out into the street.<br/>
Ah, well. It’s still okay. The streetlight accompany me, so it isn’t all dark. And if I can make it safely one way... I think I can make it the other way just fine.<br/>
So I continue my walk. Seriously suppress the feeling of being scared, and this time, I think I’m doing a good job. Just kind of hold my breath so I don’t hyperventilate. Hyperventilating is what creates the panic attack I think.<br/>
<em>See?</em> I remind myself.<br/>
Though, I haven’t even made it a full block when the silence is suddenly broken. And when I say it was sudden... I mean it was <em>sudden.</em><br/>
It’s a sound that’s kind of like... A jet plane...<br/>
A really low-flying jet plane.<br/>
I gasp sharply. I can’t keep calm anymore.<br/>
<em>I’m being followed... Stormfront’s here.</em><br/>
Beginning to fully panic again, I sprint. I begin sprinting down the street. My thought process is just to make it back to the shelter. Just run. Make it there in one piece.<br/>
But in the midst of my run, I hear that jetting noise again... And it’s a lot closer. Accompanied this time by the daunting crackle of lightning.<br/>
I cry out. Try to protect my head with my one free arm that isn’t carrying the bag.<br/>
<em>Shit!</em> That strike <em>just</em> missed me!<br/>
Goddamn... I can’t just run. I’ll get struck.<br/>
I pause in my running, finding that I’m breathing extremely fast. My chest hurts and my heart is racing. For a moment, I just look around for somewhere to hide.<br/>
The first thing I notice is an alleyway. Leads to another street. Maybe... Maybe if I can just stay hidden in the shadows, I can lose her and make it to the shelter. It’ll be longer... More dangerous, but... I just have to make it.<br/>
So I bolt into the alley where it’s nice and dark. Just pray to whatever the hell is out there that she didn’t see me.<br/>
Duck here for a minute... Just wait. Hold the bag against my chest. If it wasn’t full with so much <em>stuff,</em> I might try to breathe into it. Calm myself the hell down for a minute.<br/>
Outside, I hear a series of those jet noises... I can only assume it’s Stormfront having lost me. Looking to see if she can find me.<br/>
Scared, I scoot myself a little further into the alley. Put my head down to hide my face in case she can somehow see me. Just hope she’ll go away soon... It’s all I can do. I even hold my hand against the pistol I tucked into my jeans... I hope I won’t need to do anything, but... I’m ready to use it if I have to.<br/>
For a good while, it’s quiet. Very quiet. I think I’ve lost her... I can probably come out the other side now.<br/>
I still try to keep from making any sudden movements. Slowly pull myself into a squatting position... Move along the brick wall to the other side. Move very, <em>very</em> slowly. It’s gonna take a long time to make it out of this alleyway, but... If it’ll keep me alive, I’ll take all the time I need.<br/>
I’m nearly halfway out... Almost there. I can see the light...<br/>
And then I hear something at the other end, where I came from.<br/>
Sounds like someone landing on the ground.<br/>
<em>Oh shit... Fuck... I’m trapped in here. She found me.</em><br/>
Stormfront doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even move from her spot. I think she’s just <em>looking for me.</em><br/>
I’ve gotta get out of here. Now.<br/>
I try to move a little faster, not leaving my squatting position. I can’t stand up... I’ll attract too much attention to myself. I’ve just gotta hold tight. Try not to let the fact that she’s here hurry me too much and give away that I am, in fact, down here.<br/>
Stormfront doesn’t move for a long time, and I’m starting to think that she doesn’t think I’m here anymore. Hell, maybe <em>she</em> isn’t here, and it’s just my scared imagination playing tricks on me. Trying to make me shit my pants.<br/>
But then I hear slow footsteps... Walking towards me.<br/>
My heart leaps into my throat. <em>She is here. She knows I’m here too. I’m fucked.</em><br/>
I swallow my breath. Hold it... She probably found me because of how hard and heavy I’m breathing. Just hope with everything I have that she can’t hear my heartbeat from where she stands.<br/>
I’ve gotta focus.<br/>
I continue scooting myself along the wall, and every time I move, I hear Stormfront step closer. Even if it was what I was trying to do the entire time, I feel myself moving faster... Standing up just a little more with each of my movements.<br/>
She knows... She does. And she’s gonna kill me if I can’t get away from her fast enough...<br/>
<em>She’s trying to edge me out of here so she can catch me...</em><br/>
Finally, after what feels like hours, I feel my hand slide around the other side of the wall. And easily, like a newt slipping under a rock, I slide around the corner of the building and out of the alleyway.<br/>
And even though it’s my instinct to run the fuck out of here like a bat out of hell, I stay put for a minute. Make sure Stormfront isn’t going to follow me out of here before I step into the light again.<br/>
It’s silent. Very silent. I don’t even hear Stormfront’s footsteps anymore.<br/>
But I don’t move.<br/>
Not until I hear that jet plane noise again, and can be reassured that it’s headed in the opposite direction. Far... <em>Far</em> away from here.<br/>
I let go of my breath. Pant heavily and begin crying under my breath. My heart is beating so fast in my chest that it hurts. I’m afraid I’m going to have a heart attack.<br/>
Finally, knowing that Stormfront’s gone, I begin <em>running.</em> Running as fast as my legs will carry me through the dimmed, empty streets. I don’t look back for anything. Clutch the bag close to my chest and cry under my breath.<br/>
And I don’t stop until I know I’m back at the shelter.<br/>
Safe.</p><p>	I nearly fall down the stairs. My legs are shaking violently and they feel like jelly... I need to hand off this bag and sit down. It suddenly feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, and my arms are numbed.<br/>
Weirdly, I... I don’t get an answer from anyone. Surely they hear me... My breathing sounds like a rhinoceros huffing just from how stressed and heavy it is. And I’m nearly snorting back the mucus as a result of my crying.<br/>
My stomach starts tying itself in knots... I don’t like how quiet it is down here.<br/>
“Hey...” I call out to the eerily silent hideout. “I... I’m back.” Lowering my head, I sob softly to myself, and I feel my chest throb one more time. <em>“I’m scared...”</em><br/>
But I don’t get a response from anyone. And that scares me because it means they aren’t here. Any other time, I know that at <em>least</em> MM would be piqued... Just that fatherly instinct of his.<br/>
Even still, I... I just try to breathe it off. Again, I’m probably overreacting. Just some leftover anxiety and fear from that encounter I just had. Maybe because I took so long just hiding in the alleyway that they went out looking for me.<br/>
I’m gonna wait until they come back, if they did go out. I don’t think I can go out again tonight. I don’t think I can go out again <em>ever.</em><br/>
So I just head into the living quarters we made for ourselves. Take it upon myself to set this heavy-ass bag down and take a seat for a while.<br/>
And that’s when... I’m punched in the gut with why it’s so quiet in here.<br/>
Actually, it’s... More like I was <em>stabbed in the gut</em> with a machete. My breathing falters entirely. My heart falls to my stomach. The bag slips out of my arms and the glass bottles of booze smash against the floor.<br/>
The guys... The guys who I’ve been calling my team. My <em>friends,</em> even... They’ve been...<br/>
All of them have been murdered. Brutally. Nothing was left to the imagination. The alcohol I’ve spilled begins to make a sickening slurry against the floor with the carnage I’ve come across.<br/>
I first notice Frenchie, splain out on the floor. His stomach’s been slit. Dug into a bit, just to make it that much more painful for him. His shirt and pants are drenched in his own blood. It even looks like he coughed some up just before... The light in his warm, brown eyes went out...<br/>
It was evident Komiko was trying to revive Frenchie, too. She’s curled up at his side, lying in a pool of his blood... What’s left of her arms wrapped around his chest. And she... She was burnt to a crisp by what I can only assume is lightning. So much so that she couldn’t even revive herself from it... And I’ve seen her snap her own neck back into place after having it broken.<br/>
There are what look like claw marks around MM’s neck... Left by long, acrylic nails. Whoever did this... They killed MM the same way as they killed Komiko’s brother. They suffocated him slowly with a fist around his neck and his throat. And as if he wasn’t suffering enough, practically drowning in his own lungs, they sent what I can only assume to be a huge knife through his stomach... Not unlike what they did to Frenchie.<br/>
Butcher... Butcher’s been here for a while... They must have killed him first and foremost so he wouldn’t be able to save anyone else. Like the others, his death was inevitably slow. His throat’s been slit, so... He’d still be alive while everyone else was killed. Set against the wall in a way that he’d have no choice but to watch. But at the same time... He’d bleed out. Die slowly. Feel the excruciating... <em>Pain...</em><br/>
They’re all gone... I’m all alone...<br/>
My heart wrenches. I fall to my knees, nearly screaming out in pain. I don’t care who hears me down here. I’ve been left to fucking suffer, with just about everything I had left taken from me. The friends who I needed to take care of me... Protect me. Who gave me purpose after losing Robin.<br/>
I’m nothing. I can’t take care of myself, not with everything on my shoulders. It’s like having my family torn the fuck away from me.<br/>
<em>I can’t lose everything twice.</em><br/>
In the midst of my meltdown, Frenchie’s blood soaking through my jeans and staining my hands, there’s a voice behind me. A voice that definitely hadn’t been there before.<br/>
“So this is what you’ve become now, huh, Hughie Campbell?”<br/>
Swallowing my tears, I sharply look over my shoulder. And I find myself looking at none other than Stormfront.<br/>
That bitch... She’s the one who did this. She killed everyone that still fucking mattered to me. Left me all alone to suffer. Suffer the consequences of everything we’ve done, and we won’t have solved anything. I can’t carry this out on my own.<br/>
Through my tears and pinched throat and trembling lip, I find my voice... My wavering voice.<br/>
“Please,” I whimper. “Just kill me.” I let out a mournful sob, nearly placing my head on the floor. “I have nothing anymore. You <em>took</em> it all...” I find myself reduced to blubbering, barely able to speak anymore. <em>“I can’t live anymore without them...”</em><br/>
I know that Stormfront is mockingly frowning at me. “Aw. Hughie,” she coos. “I really should kill you, shouldn’t I? You can’t take care of yourself. Everyone who was going to keep you safe is dead. Killing you would be the kind thing to do, wouldn’t it?” But she immediately turns it around and smiles. “But... <em>Kind</em> isn’t really my thing, you know? Besides, you all <em>did</em> commit quite a few crimes that deserve the harshest of punishments.” She nonchalantly shrugs. “I think I’ll leave that up to the higher-ups to deal with. I’ll leave you with what’s left of your buddies for now.”<br/>
And with that, she turns on her heel. Walks out of the shelter, leaving me completely alone. Alive to suffer, being torn apart from the inside out of having my friends killed. Unable to take care of and protect myself.<br/>
Using the very small amount of strength I have left, I drag myself over to where Butcher is laying. Blood soaks his trench coat through... The maroon shows up even through the black fabric. His navy blue eyes are still open... The light doesn’t reflect in them anymore, but... I could tell how sad he was in his final moments just by looking at them.<br/>
I never thought I’d have to see Butcher like this...<br/>
Ignoring the blood that leaks onto me, I curl up beside him. Just like a helpless puppy. Rest my head on his chest, where his heart ceases to beat.<br/>
The warm blood I feel on my skin is all that’s left of him... And I know it’s going to run cold very soon.<br/>
And I just cry. Bawl my eyes out against Butcher’s chest. Nearly screaming. Feeling nothing but the aches that ravage through me. Tear me shreds.<br/>
Leaving me all alone and terrified.</p><p> </p><p>~	~	~</p><p> </p><p>	I’m suddenly torn out of my sleep, and I jolt awake with a loud gasp.<br/>
The effects are immediate. Tears stream down my face as soon as my eyes are open. I begin hyperventilating to the point where my chest hurts.<br/>
Holy shit... <em>Holy shit...</em><br/>
That was insane... Probably the worst nightmare I’ve had in a long time. Even knowing that I’m awake, I’m still scared as hell. Shaking violently. Still sad and heartbroken at the thought of just... Losing my friends. Having them ripped away from me without a fighting chance.<br/>
I’m lying on the couch, flat on my back. Head supported under a pillow. Tears stream down my cheeks and I’m sobbing desperately under my breath. I can’t see very well through my clogged eyes, but I notice some of the others. I think that Frenchie and Komiko are looking at something on Frenchie’s laptop. Playing a video game, I think. Komiko’s teaching him her language, too, it looks like, based on their hand movements. MM is on the other couch. Sitting up, but relaxed nonetheless; he’s slouching. Watching something on the TV. I can’t really see what... Too many tears in the way.<br/>
The only one who isn’t in my immediate vision is Butcher. I can’t sit up to look for him, I don’t have the strength. Much like an infant who woke up not knowing where his parents are because they’re out of his sight, I find myself crying louder.<br/>
<em>Where’s Butcher? Where is he? Please tell me that wasn’t somehow real...</em><br/>
In the midst of my tears, bawling my eyes out over here, I hear a soft, male’s voice somewhere off to the side... Somewhere out of my immediate field of vision.<br/>
“Hughie... Hey...”<br/>
It’s a Cockney accent I don’t think would sound so gentle like that normally. He also said my name more like “‘Ughie...”<br/>
<em>Butcher?</em><br/>
I don’t see him at first. I just whimper more, trying to crane my neck to see him, but... I can’t. My head is so weighted down.<br/>
“Hughie...” I hear him say softly again.<br/>
And then he comes into my vision. Kneels beside the couch. He’s not wearing his trench coat... Just the dark green flannel he had on underneath it.<br/>
All I can do is just bawl in deep sadness. Stare at him through the tears in my eyes. <em>Oh thank God,</em> is the one thought going through my head. <em>It really was just a dream.</em><br/>
For a minute, Butcher just watches me... Sad eyes. Frowning deeply.<br/>
“Hey,” he says. He reaches out and wipes a tear from my cheek... I think it’s the most gentle he’s ever touched me. “It’s alright... What happened to ya? I don’t think I ever seen ya like this... You were so sleepy a minute ago.”<br/>
I can’t speak. I’m crying too hard to talk.<br/>
Butcher frowns even more, getting down low where he can talk to me. “Listen here to me, Hughie. It’s okay. I don’t know what happened, but... You’re okay.” He cups my face in one of his hands... His hands are so much bigger than mine. It’s kind of a comforting feeling.<br/>
I just answer with a series of whimpers.<br/>
“Aw... Hughie,” Butcher sighs. “It’s alright, Hughie. Swear on it. Can you breathe?”<br/>
I show him I can. It comes out as hyperventilation, but I am breathing. I’m alive.<br/>
Butcher smiles softly. Chuckles. “I know you <em>can</em> breathe. You were doing it before,” he tells me. “I mean, I want you to take a deep breath.” He rubs my cheek with his thumb. “You can do that, right?” Just to make sure I can, he shows me what he wants me to do. Kind of breathes in through his nose... Back out through his mouth.<br/>
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Butcher breathe deeply... Not ever. He just kind of lets his rage build up until he’s swearing his head off.<br/>
I find myself reaching up. Taking a handful of his flannel into my fist. My chest is so tight that I struggle for a good while before I’m able to finally breathe deeply.<br/>
“That’s it, kid. There you go. Steady breathing,” Butcher says gently.<br/>
He just coaches me for a minute. Makes sure that I get a grip back on myself before I try to talk to him.<br/>
Seeing as I’m a little better now... Butcher smooths his hand over my cheek. “There. That’s much better, isn’t it?”<br/>
I try to sit up a little. Use that fistful of Butcher’s flannel to pull myself up, but without much success there. Thankfully he helps me... Props me up against his arm and his shoulder.<br/>
“You’re awful clingy tonight,” he then points out. “What’s going on with ya?”<br/>
Finally, I found my voice buried inside my chest. “I... I’m sorry,” I whimper. “I don’t... Mean to...” I want to finish off with <em>cling so much,</em> but my mouth won’t form any more words. Ashamed, I break down even further, rolling my head to rest against his shoulder.<br/>
Butcher gives my arm a good, but gentle roughing-up. “Nahh, it’s alright, son. I’m just worried about ya,” he tells me. He then purses his lips. Breathes out heavily through his nose. “I... Realized I haven’t worried about you enough, Hughie. I know you weren’t built for this kind of work, so...” He runs his hand over my forehead and through my hair. “I get that I gotta check on you. And I’ve seen ya in distress, but... Never so severe.” He gives me a squeeze, and I nestle my face into his shoulder. “Mind telling me what’s got you like this?”<br/>
I whimper against him, trying to keep from drooling, but... I have little control over myself right now. “I... I had the worst dream, Butcher,” I sob. “I get that’s... Probably some pussy shit, but...” I find myself shaking in Butcher’s arms. <em>“It was so bad...”</em><br/>
And... Even if he’s definitely made comments when I’ve sat straight up in bed from nightmares in the past, Butcher shakes his head. “Nah. Not at all,” he says. “Tell me about it. Get it off your chest.”<br/>
I do. I tell him about it. Every last detail that I remember. Going out on my own, and being fine... Stormfront finding me and nearly catching me. Chasing me back to the shelter. Coming back, and... Finding everyone dead. Killed by Stormfront. Leaving me all alone to suffer, unable to protect myself. And I tell him... Just the excruciating fear that I felt. How goddamn sad I felt that everything that meant something to me was taken away for the second time...<br/>
How all of a sudden, nothing mattered or felt worth it anymore.<br/>
By the time I’ve finished explaining, I can barely speak all over again. Bawling against Butcher. Gasping for breath.<br/>
But he doesn’t make the usual array of comments that he might. All that <em>"don’t be a cunt"</em> stuff he says. Rather he just holds me. Like... <em>Actually</em> holds me in a tight hug in his arms.<br/>
“Hey. It’s alright,” he whispers. “It’s alright. I know you’re scared... I know you’re scared to be alone.” He ruffles his fingers through my hair. “You aren’t alone, though, Hughie. You know that, right?”<br/>
I just answer with another deep sob, feeling myself beginning to tremble in his arms.<br/>
“Christ,” Butcher mutters, holding me a little tighter. “You’re shaking, Hughie. That dream’s got you all shaken up, huh?” He then does something that I didn’t really expect from him... He rubs my back softly. Just soft, up and down motions against my back to calm me down. “There’s nothing to be scared of. No one’s gonna let anything bad happen to ya. Those cunts have nothing on us. They’re not gonna hurt you, and they’re not gonna hurt anyone else. Not if I have anything to say.” He chuckles softly. “You’re safe with us, Hughie. You’re not alone. You never have to worry about suffering on your own.”<br/>
I don’t know why, but Butcher’s sudden softness only makes me cry harder. I clutch hard onto his flannel with both fists, chest heaving so hard with hysterics that I can barely pick up my own head.<br/>
Butcher frowns... I can’t see him do it, but he sighs, and I can tell that he’s frowning. “Hughie...” he says, remorse in his voice. “It really is alright, kid. See?” He bounces me gently against his shoulder. “I’ve gotcha. Don’t I? Even if Stormfront was here, she’d have to go through me to get to ya. I’ll keep you safe.” He then continues to just massage my back gently, ruffling through my hair every so often. Sometimes just holding his hand warmly against the back of my head.<br/>
And I just keep my head down against him. Just listening to him talk to calm me.<br/>
“You’re a good kid, Hughie,” Butcher tells me gently. “You’ve got a heart in there. It’s... Good that you still get scared. Still cry. Means you haven’t been damaged all too much. You know that you’re damaged by what ya do when you don’t feel scared by it anymore.” He sighs softly. “You’re my canary, Hughie. I’m one of those who... Isn’t affected anymore. Can’t really tell when what I’m doing is too much because it won’t scare me the way it used to.” He bounces me a little. “I can tell if we’re going too far because it’s got you like this, Hughie. That’s how I know we ought to stop because we’re crossing into dark territories.” He sighs. “I’m lucky like that. Not everyone’s gonna have a canary like you.”<br/>
Damn. I don’t think I’ve heard Butcher talk so much. But I’ll listen to him... It lets me know that I’m not alone...<br/>
As Butcher talks to me about everything and nothing, he sits beside me on the couch... Lets me rest my head on his shoulder. Just keeps talking to me to give me comfort.<br/>
Jesus... I never realized how soft that Butcher feels. Soft under my head. I didn’t expect it... He looks rough, of course. Not necessarily one who would be open to... Comfort someone. But he is... I’m comfortable here.<br/>
Comfortable enough to nestle in and close my eyes...<br/>
I feel safe enough to fall asleep.<br/>
In the midst of his thought, Butcher chuckles. Ruffles up my hair gently. “Sleepy, Hughie?” he asks.<br/>
I just kind of groan affirmatively. Too sleepy to answer...<br/>
He makes a satisfied noise under his breath. Runs a gentle knuckle over my cheek. “Alright,” he says. “I’ll leave you alone. Let you get back to sleep...”<br/>
He begins to stir, getting up to let me rest alone. All of a sudden I spring up, wrapping his flannel into my fist again. Open my eyes and stare at him longingly. Tears welling up all over again.<br/>
Concerned, Butcher stops. Just looks at me worriedly when I’m awake all of a sudden.<br/>
“Don’t go,” I whimper. “Don’t leave me alone.”<br/>
He grins softly, sitting back and letting me lean against him again. “Alright then,” he says. “I’ll stay.” Very gently... He strokes my hair again. Rhythmically... Looking to relax me again.<br/>
It works. I lie comfortably against his shoulder. Relish in the soft stroking against my hair.<br/>
Appreciate how... I feel safe against Butcher. Knowing that he’s here to protect me.<br/>
And as I begin to fall asleep again, knowing that I’m comfortable, I hear him whisper to me... “I’m here, my canary. Get back to sleep. I’ll protect you...”</p><p> </p><p>~	~	~</p>
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